Mommy Roulette

In a desperate frenzy to find The Girl's pacifier (or pap as The Boy likes to call them. Because any time you can be reminded of a speculum is pleasant), you bravely reach your hands under the couch with blind faith. No paps to be found but you come up with a sippy cup that hasn't been around in weeks. By weeks you probably mean months because, really, would you rather clean out under the couch or binge watch Breaking Bad after the children go to bed? 

That's what I thought too. 

Now, this sippy cup probably contains discarded water. Toddlers can't be bothered with simple h2o after all. Stolen sips of mommy's coffee or iced tea are much preferable. Maybe there's juice in there. I mean, the juice is so watered down that it's probably only a little fermented.

But as you stand over the sink ready to join this cup with his brethren in the dishwasher, a thought occurs. A ghastly and revolting thought. 

This cup could be full of milk. 

This cup, that's lived under the couch for, well for a long time, could be housing a curdled dairy science experiment that would send Walter White himself running from the lab in terror. You panic, reasoning with yourself. The Boy loves his milk as a growing toddler should. Would he really carelessly misplace a whole cup? No. No, it's water. You should have bought see through cups. Just close your eyes, take the top off, and throw it in the dishwasher. You don't need to look. Oh, but the smell. You're dry heaving just thinking of the smell. God. You're not cut out for this. This is more than one person can handle. Wait for The HusbandFigure. He can do it. Yeah, make him open it. Your palms sweat as you pick up the cup. Just do it. 

Do it. 

You've never been a gambler anyway.