Oh Rock 'n Play sleeper
From Fisher Price you come
You make having an infant kind fun
In your craddled grip my baby will sleep
From her we hear not even a peep
Up small you fold in a nook in the van
Thank you Rock 'n Play, I'm your biggest fan!
After a post dinner mental breakdown, a rambunctious dog fight, and a sudden passionate intolerance for Mickey Mouse Club house, we decided to stop near Selma North Carolina.
One room, 3 beds.
Isn't family bonding nice?
So we're back on the road. Massachusetts today, guys. Turn up the heat for us, will ya?
A few hours into north Carolina.
A bajillion episodes into jamesons Mickey Mouse collection.
Some trip highlights include:
Giving Reagan a bath at a rest stop
Breast feeding Isla at a skeezy truck stop
Getting to North Carolina before figuring out how to load the DVD player
Eating a giant bag of skittles to my face
Lets hope things stay as boring. No one has enough cash for bail.
Georgia smells like a foot.
Or someone's foot smells like a foot. Probably this guy.
In the great town of Starke to be exact. Starke is in fact the location where death row inmates are executed in this great state.
Do you smell something burning?
Anyway. We're ridiculously behind schedule (story). There was one stop made for delicious coffee beverages and to let the monster toddler run around. And another stop because some little lady had an explosive diaper (that's number one of the trip of anyone wants to keep score). And now we venture forth. Full of pep! And moxie! And vigor!
Yeah right.
Brian, we may get there for your wedding anniversary. That's cool, right?
This is Myste Ferrie roving reporter coming to you live from, oh. Englewood Florida. Still.
ON THE ROAD AGAIN!
We took off this morning without a hitch, minus being an hour late. Jameson has screamed "UP!" about six times already and Jennifer is busting into the skittles as we speak.
Are we there yet?
I know I've addressed with you, my dear readers, the process that is leaving the house with a baby in tow. Now that my first baby is a toddler, add approximately 17 extra pounds of shit to that (sippy cups, goldfish crackers, toys, books). How many diapers will two little monsters go through in an approximate two week period? Answer: SO MANY.
Basically, what I'm saying is that this packing business is a fiasco.
We also ended up renting a much smaller vehicle. A simple mini van for 7 passengers and two dogs.
This is way too much for one who hasn't had a drink in about a year. Some of us don't appear to be too stressed though. Oh the innocence of youth.
I want you to close your eyes.
Well, why don't you go ahead and open them so you can read this. But still, focus.
You're driving up the east coast of these beautiful United States, making the journey from a beach paradise to the idyllic autumn blanket that covers the rolling hills of New England. You're in the arms of your loving family, solidifying your bond together during a 1,388 mile adventure. Your destination ever growing close, and the excitement of a wedding, the union of two beautiful families, builds as you venture to your destination.
Isn't that nice? An after school special in the making for sure. Now, picture this journey again. This time add five adults. One who very recently pushed an 8 pound human being out of them. While you're at it, add two dogs, one with a taste for human flesh and the other with enough neurosis to be committed. Finally add a toddler who only stops moving if you bribe him with delicious snacks, and a week and a half old who feeds like a piranha every two hours.
The Ferrie/Lundgren clan (Florida charter) will be driving up to Massachusetts this Monday morning. All of us. Together. In one rented 15 p van. I'll stop typing for one quick minute to let you fully grasp this.
Right? I thought it was only fair to share this voyage with my friends and family who love a heartwarming hot mess story. I'll be updating as we migrate north and let you all know where to pick up the bodies as necessary.
